Wait for it ....

[bro_codebreaker]

PERSONAL
NAME: Ang D.
PERSONAL JOURNAL: chartharsis
EMAIL: msfeistus@gmail.com
AIM: chartharsis
CURRENT CHARACTERS: hard_talker, fanstheflame, theabjectauthor, savethedarkness


CHARACTER
CHARACTER NAME: Barney Stinson
SERIES: How I Met Your Mother
CANON POINT: 4.19 - Murtaugh
LOSS: Whenever he solicits a "five" of any variety (low, high, "insert noun/phrase here", etc) he is physically unable to lower his arm until someone else takes pity on him and makes hand contact.

ABOUT THE CHARACTER:
To be brief, there is no way of being brief about Barney Stinson. He is a legend in his own mind, and will go out of his way to tell you so. He is overconfident to the point of hyperbole, and as far as he's concerned, his opinion is not just the best: it's the ONLY one that counts. He makes it a point to be the life of the party ... and if there isn't a party, he'll find a way to make one, and make it "Legen ... wait for it ... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of the word is ... dary!" Barney is an insufferable womanizer, though whether it stems from a fear of commitment or his own immaturity and inconsideration is debatable. However, if someone he considers a friend is having relationship troubles, he will go out of his way to tell them exactly how they should be resolved. He's also fiercely loyal to the people he earmarks as his friends - even if they may not reciprocate the sentiment. Even bearing this in mind, his loyalty may show itself in strange, underhanded ways: he once helped Marshall reunite with Lily by undermining Marshall every time he tried to go out with another girl.

He's also a born performer, fond of karaoke, sleight of hand, and showing off whenever there's a piano present. No tale is too tall, no story too ludicrous, no gimmick too elaborate for him: when it comes to Too Much, Barney doesn't know the meaning of the word, even though his picture's probably beside it in the dictionary. He hates seeing anyone upset or depressed, though he won't outwardly say so - instead, he'll go to some ludicrous end to cheer them up - including mocking them until they lose their temper, and end up laughing about it afterwards. If anyone calls him on it, he'll just wave it off with a "No need to thank me - I'm just that awesome".

Underneath all his ego and bluster, Barney is a sensitive and very self-conscious person ... very, very, VERY far underneath. His childhood was less than stellar, due to growing up with an absentee father and a mother who really only started being present in his life once he was old enough to look out for himself. He tried to be sensitive and considerate and caring, and it led to being burned so badly that he buried it all deep down, under several layers of expensive suits and swagger. Beneath the carefully-crafted facade of perfection and over-achievement that he works tirelessly to maintain, Barney still craves not just the attention of his peers, but their approval and support. The lengths he goes to for them are not just for his own benefit, though - if he's known someone for long enough, and they've proven that they're not going to just up and leave him dead in the water once they're bored with his antics, he will do anything for them because he cares, too. But caring is for girls, wusses, and bears with pictures of happy colorful easily marketable things on their stomachs, so he'll never admit to it.

A special mention has to be made on the matter of those that Barney comes to consider his Best Friends: these are the people he will cling to, and ceaselessly bother do the most to protect, impress, entertain, and support. While romance is something he can more or less live without, friendship is sacred, to the point of his having drawn up The Bro Code: a book of rules that Bros are meant to abide by. While he's broken a rule or two in his time, he always feels thoroughly horrible about it afterwards - not because of the thing he did to break the rule, but the fact that he broke it. It's really a matter of guilt more than a matter of ethics... which is to say, Barney doesn't have any ethics of his own, but if A Best Friend tells him he did something bad and needs to fix it, he'll fix it because they want him to and would think less of him if he didn't. Otherwise, despite how much he cares for the people in his life, Barney's not necessarily A Good Guy - he's got a very strong jackass streak, and will take potshots at strangers' expense if it's good for a laugh ... another example of not caring what lines have been drawn, or where.

It could be said that Barney wants to keep the party spinning around him constantly so that he won't have to stop and think about how fleeting it all is. He lives in the moment, and if he's robbed of that moment, he's nothing. He can be prone to mood swings of anger and angst just as much as any castle resident, but if at all possible, he has them in private, where no one sees - because if he doesn't know how to handle people when they're upset, he's pretty sure no one else wants to see it coming from him. A Sad Barney is not the Barney that he wants to be, and the less of his precious time he can waste moping, the better.

ABILITIES: BEING AWESOME. (also laser tag, being awesome, magic tricks, being awesome, playing the piano, being awesome, picking up chicks, and being awesome).

THIRD-PERSON WRITING SAMPLE: "You know, there's a saying about this, somewhere, Ted," Barney proclaimed in his best Philosopher of Awesomeness tone, lounging against the wall and wistfully addressing the ceiling. Mostly he was doing so to look effectively profound, but in perfect honesty, he was doing it to avoid the Massive Glare that his Best friend was shooting him from the other side of the room. Still, he paused, waiting for a response. When none came, he prompted, cheerfully, "Aaaaaaand what's that, Barney?"

Ted's response came through gritted teeth. "And. What's. That, Barney."

"Oh! Hell if I know." He sat up straight, then promptly let out a holler of pain as a nerve in his back protested at the motion. "I think it was something like 'friends pay your bail, best friends are sitting in there with you'." Reaching up, he gingerly touched his ear, where the swelling was slowly starting to go down. "It's been a while. I think it was on --"

"Every t-shirt and button since the 60s, yeah," Ted interrupted, glaring around the tiny cell. "And it ends with the other guy saying 'damn, that was fun', which this? For the record? IS NOT."

"You're right," his self-proclaimed Best Friend agreed dejectedly, hanging his head. After a moment, he slowly raised his eyes without sitting up, and smirked, the effect making Ted realize that there were times Barney looked far, far too much at home with the fact that he had a criminal record.

"It was awesome. Now hey, call Marshall and see how soon he can get us outta here, I'm starving."

FIRST-PERSON JOURNAL SAMPLE: So, hey! Journal people. What up. It has come to my attention that we. Have. A pool. Why is there not a twenty-four-seven pool party going on around here? For those of you playing along on the home game? The answer the judges are looking for is "Why, Barney! We do not know! We should have one of those RIGHT NOW".

I'm wishing up the chips, the 7-layer bean dip, and the beers. Ladies, wish up your pitchers of ma-ha-RI-tas and your best bikinis. Dudes, SWIMSUIT UP. You have absolutely no excuse to say no. Stinson: out!

INTENT: I dropped Barney because I felt like his time in Paradisa had sobered him too much... but then I ended up missing the bastard. It's been long enough that bringing him back without memories should do the trick nicely, and I'll just be more careful about how much dark stuff I involve him in, now that opt-outs are a more frequent option.